Insidious Incendiaries! – The Pyro vs. The Meta | Prelude

: High-ordinance weaponry and copious amounts of specialized funding–

: Two, very, nice things when put together, so long as they aren’t meant to employ incredibly tough deranged soldiers and/or super soldiers.

: …

: Oooohhh… I see. Yeah, that’s exactly what happened with these two then, huh?

: Obscured by masks, silent except for gross hisses or muffles, mad beyond reason, and with a sweet tooth for raising hell, these masked marauders make a name for themselves as some of the most terrifying monsters on the battlefield.

: The Pyro, the pyrotechnics expert of the RED Team and most deranged of their crew… And that’s saying something.

: The Meta, the former Agent Maine of Project Freelancer turned mute and monstrous AI hunter.

: I’m Dylania Sandiss and he’s Lash Fittania, and we’ll evaluate their physique, techniques, and enigmatic entropy to find who stands tall and who shall fall!

: This, is Where Titans Clash.

* * *

THE PYRO

“I fear no man. But, that ‘thing’… It scares me.” – The Heavy

: Almost nothing is known of The Pyro. Their history, unknown. Their origins, unknown. Their voice, unknown. Even their sex is unknown.

: All that is known for sure, is that they cannot speak, and that they are completely insane.

: Though The Pyro is often considered an ally and a brother in arms to the TF2 Mercs, that does not stop the others from being absolutely, genuinely terrified of the enigma that is their pyrotechnics guy.

: The Heavy, one of the strongest in their ranks, fears no man. Yet, he will not hesitate to call The Pyro something more or less than a man. A ‘thing.’

: The Scout, the fastest merc, expressed his fear of his comrade, fleeing in terror at even the slightest hint or lie that he would be near.

: The Spy, the assassin of the group, cannot help but morbidly wonder…

“One shudders to imagine what inhuman thoughts lie behind that mask. What dreams of chronic and sustained cruelty…” – The Spy

: Excuse me, but what the fuck.

: Beyond his eyes, The Pyro sees himself in a utopic wonderworld often called ‘Pyroland.’ It’s a place where he sprays rainbows and joy to everyone, sees all people as infantilized versions of themselves, and tries to treat them all with kindness and happiness.

: Yeah, and it gets translated into the real world as burning down outposts and people, slaughtering them with intense flames, fire axes, and flare guns.

: Nobody knows why he sees the world this way. Is it from long years of asbestos poisoning damaging his lungs, resulting in oxygen deprivation and hallucination? Is it from the horrors he caused and this is his only way of coping with it, seeing his actions as purely kind and altruistic?

: Whatever the case, Heavy’s right. That ‘thing’… It scares me.

BACKGROUND INFO

• Full Name: Unknown
• Epithet: The Pyro
• Origin: Indeterminate
• Occupation: Mercenary
• Job: Pyrotechnics
• Debut: Team Fortress 2 (2012)

: The Pyro has a smorgasbord of weapons and utilities at his disposal. Their mask is required for their survival due to the overexposure of asbestos in their suit, which is flame-retardant as a trade-off. As for The Pyro’s bread-and-butter, that’s their Flamethrower.

: Homemade with a whole damn propane tank strapped to the side, Pyro’s packing some real heat. It boasts 16 seconds of uninterrupted fire spraying, automatically adjusts its temperature to be as hot as needed, and, of course, Pyro views it as a giant tuba that sprays rainbows and glee.

: While engulfed in flames, enemies are afflicted by Afterburn, a quality of being set aflame by the Pyro’s weapons. But if they need to keep their distance from the enemy, Pyro can use the Compression Blast, a blast of compressed air, to push foes away.

: The blast can also deflect projectiles and extinguish allies who are on fire. Though it is more costly, costing 20 ammo per the 200 the flamethrower begins with, it can burn through ammo very fast.

: And, as we are taking characters at their strongest, we took the liberty of giving them the Australium Flamethrower they can obtain from Mann vs. Machine.

: This is where we get into wacky TF2 lore. Australium is a transformative, borderline supernatural element that grants enhanced intelligence and virility, as well as potentially increases muscle-mass, entices the exposed to drink alcohol, and can grow facial hair. Even in women. Blegh. But just look at what it did to The Engineer’s dear old grandpa when he was an old fogey!

: With the frequency with which the mercs use their equipment and assuming it takes within 2 months of exposure to grant these benefits, there is no reason why Pyro can’t benefit from these life-enhancing effects as well.

: They have access to a number of other flamethrowers as well, such as the Degreaser, which can be switched out and to faster at the cost of Afterburn damage, and the Backburner which does more damage from behind at the cost of compression blasts costing 50 ammo instead.

: However, the Pyro’s Dragon’s Fury is a star among these flamethrowers. Instead of releasing a steady stream of flames, it fires off pressurized fireballs, dealing extra damage to enemies afflicted by Afterburn. However, his compression blast has fewer uses and a slower rate of fire to compensate.

: But if that’s not enough, he can get rid of his compression blast altogether with the Phlogistinator. This scientific flamethrower from another dimension (seriously) sprays a reactive energy that influences a person’s “phlogistons” to burn them from the inside. It is incapable of compression blasting, but in exchange, The Pyro fills up an “Mmmph!” bar, and when full, The Pyro becomes invincible and taunts, giving them guaranteed Critical Hits for a short time.

: Consider Critical Hits as triple the damage of an average attack, or for VS Debating’s sake, tripling the weapon’s Attack Potency. Don’t worry, we won’t be incorporating Random Crits in this fight, but Guaranteed Crits from equipment are kinda required as they play a major role in the Pyro’s kit.

: The Pyro also carries plenty of secondary and melee weapons as well. They carry a basic Shotgun and the Reserve Shooter, a shotgun that deals Mini-Crits (x1.35 Damage) to enemies displaced by explosions or air blasts, such as the Compression Blast. But their most notable shotty is the Panic Attack, which fires more pellets per shot, but becomes less accurate with each shot.

: Their titular Flare Gun fires flares that inflict Afterburn, and deal a Critical Hit to enemies with Afterburn, while their Manmelter does the same, but can absorb the fires from an ally set aflame to guarantee the next shot to be a Crit.

: Meanwhile, their Detonator and Scorch Shot can be used the same way as the Flare Gun, but have flares that remote detonate into small fireballs. The Scorch Shot has a larger explosion and has more knockback on the flare. However, the Detonator deals more damage. Better yet, Pyro can use the explosive nature of the flares to Flare Jump, a super jump using the shockwave of the flares’ explosion at the cost of their health. Now that’s a pretty metal move.

: But when he can come equipped with the Thermal Thruster, a borderline jetpack, he can super jump without harming himself, as well as fly for a short period of time, but it must recharge after every short flight.

: They also have the cleverly-named Gas Passer, a can of flammable material that, on contact with the ground, generates a cloud of thick vapor. While it extinguishes themselves and allies, it coats enemies in a highly flammable substance that inflicts Afterburn even on what can’t normally catch fire, like other Pyros.

: I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear that. I mean, how the hell does it selectively extinguish flames but also massively intensify them? Dammit Valve…

: So you have a problem with magical gas fluid, but not magical ores that made Australia a world superpower of science and moustache-toting drunkards?

: Nah, that one checks out.

: Well… That does it for secondaries, so let’s talk about melee weapons, such as Pyro’s Fire Axe or their Homewrecker, a sledge that does extra damage to buildings and can destroy gadgets like the Spy’s Sappers with ease.

: The Third Degree is another of Dr. Grordbort’s inventions, like the Phlogistinator and Manmelter, and is a pervasive weapon that spreads the Afterburn effect across any transfer medium, like Mediguns, while the Powerjack is a hammer made from a used car battery and an antique car jack that increases Pyro’s movement speed by 15% while deployed.

: The Neon Annihilator deals Critical Hits to enemies who are wet, the Backscratcher does 25% extra damage, and the Sharpened Volcano Fragment inflicts Afterburn on foes it strikes. Its blade is even formed from still flowing lava, which scientists still don’t understand.

: Their Australium-encrusted Axtinguisher provides Mini-Crits on enemies afflicted by Afterburn, while their Hot Hand is a glove that just slaps enemies. They gain a speed boost with each slap, but ultimately it’s still just The Pyro slapping you.

: And lastly in this long arsenal that could rival The Hunter or Dovahkiin’s, there is the Power Up Canteen. It can be upgraded to give free Ubercharge, which is short-term invulnerability, or free ammo refills, but according to the MvM meta, the likeliest upgrade the Pyro will take is the Crit Boost, which gives Pyro guaranteed Crits for 5 seconds. If that wasn’t bad enough, Pyro can have up to 3 charges of the Crit Boost as well for a total of 15 seconds straight of Crits.

EQUIPMENT:

• Mask
  • Filters Oxygen
  • Required to Breathe Due to Asbestos Damage to Their Lungs
• Asbestos Suit
  • Flame-Retardant Suit
• Flamethrower
  • Potent Homemade Flamethrower that Spits Fire in a Cone
  • Pyro Views it as a Tuba that Shoots Rainbows and Confetti
  • Boasts 16 Seconds of Uninterrupted Fire
  • Automatically Adjusts Temperature as Needed
  • Australium-Encrusted
• Backburner
  • Flamethrower that Deals Crits from Behind
  • Compression Blast Costs 50 Ammo
• Degreaser
  • Faster Weapon Switching, but Deals Less Afterburn Damage
  • Perfect for Puff n’ Sting Combos when Paired with the Flare Gun or the Axtinguisher
• Dragon’s Fury
  • Shoots Fireballs Instead of Fire Streams
  • Crits Enemies Afflicted with Afterburn
  • Carries 40 Ammo, with Compression Blasts Costing 5
  • Compression Blast Rate of Fire Slower
• Phlogistinator
  • One of Dr. Grordbort’s Inventions from Another Dimension
  • No Compression Blast
  • Has “Mmmph!” Meter, and When Fully Charged, Pyro Becomes Invincible for a Brief Moment and Gains Crits for a Short Time
• Shotgun
• Reserve Shooter
  • Faster Weapon Switching and Deals Mini-Crits when Firing at Displaced Enemies, but has a Smaller Clip Size
• Panic Attack
  • Extra Pellets per Shot for More Damage, but Loses Accuracy with Each Shot
• Flare Gun
  • Shoots Fiery Projectile in an Arc, Inflicting Afterburn on Contact
  • Upon Hitting an Enemy Afflicted by Afterburn, Deals Crit Damage
• Detonator
  • Flare Projectile can be Detonated Remotely and Inflict Afterburn
  • Deals Mini-Crits Instead of Full Crits to Afterburn Enemies
• Scorch Shot
  • Flare Projectile can be Detonated Remotely and Inflict Afterburn
  • Has Very Strong Knockback and a Wider Explosion Radius
  • Rolls on the Ground Before Detonating Upon Making Contact with an Enemy, Dealing Mini-Crits to Afterburn Enemies
• Manmelter
  • One of Dr. Grordbort’s Inventions from Another Dimension
  • Extinguishes Allies Afflicted with Afterburn and Guarantees a Crit on the Next Shot
• Thermal Thruster
  • Jetpack that Grants Short Bursts of Flight and Super Jumps
  • Can be Used to Stomp on Enemies, Dealing Triple the Falling Damage Pyro would Take
  • Landing can Push Enemies Away
  • Slow to Activate and has a 15 Second Recharge Time Between its Two Flight Charges
• Gas Passer
  • Gas Can that Leaves a Cloud of Flammable Gaseous Material
  • Extinguishes Allies, Coats Enemies
  • Next Attack the Enemy Takes Sets them Ablaze with Afterburn, Even Enemies Otherwise Flame-Retardant
  • 60 Second Recharge Time
  • When Ignited, the Cloud Explodes, Dealing Enough Damage to Insta-Kill an Unbuffed Heavy
  • yo where tf does he get the next can if he can’t replenish it from ammo lockers or boxes?
• Fire Axe
• Homewrecker
  • Deals Extra Damage to Buildings and Gadgets, but Less Damage to People
• Backscratcher
  • Deals an Extra 25% Damage
• Powerjack
  • Increases Speed by 15% While Deployed
• Axtinguisher
  • Deals Mini-Crit Damage on and Extinguishes Enemies with Afterburn
  • Australium-Encrusted
• Third Degree
  • One of Dr. Grordbort’s Inventions from Another Dimension
  • Afterburn can be Transferred Through a Medium like a Medigun Beam on Impact
• Neon Annihilator
  • Giant Neon Sign that Crits Enemies Wet from Being in Water
• Sharpened Volcano Fragment
  • Inflicts Afterburn on a Successful Hit, but Deals Less Damage than Stock
  • Even Though the Blade is Made of Still Flowing Lava, the High-End Temperature of Which is 1250°C
• Hot Hand
  • Just a Glove, Improves Speed on Hitting the Enemy
• Power Up Canteen: Crit Boosted
  • Grants Pyro Guaranteed Crits for 5 Seconds
  • 3 Charges

TECHNIQUES/ABILITIES

• Afterburn
  • Lingering Flames that Damage the Enemy Over Time
  • Can be Inflicted from Most of the Pyro’s Arsenal
• Compression Blast
  • Releases a Compressed Burst of Air from the End of the Flamethrower
  • Can Knock Enemies Backward, Deflect Projectiles, and Extinguish Afterburn from Allies
• Flare Jump
  • Uses the Explosive Force from the Detonator and Scorch Shot’s Flares to Super Jump at the Cost of Self-Harm
  • Outclassed by the Thermal Thruster Now
• Projectile Penetration
  • Bullets from the Shotgun, Reserve Shooter, and Panic Attack All Pierce Enemies

: The Pyro is no slouch either, considered to be the strongest of all the mercenaries. The Pyro’s Flamethrower can spit flames hot enough to burn a barn to cinders in an instant. And, thanks to those Dr. Grordbort inventions mentioned earlier, they have been shown to vaporize enemies with enough exposure.

: According to the article by Spinosaurus75DinosaurFan on the VS Battles Wiki, here, the energy output needed to perform this feat is 0.007 Tons of TNT, which is Small Building Level.

: He was also able to easily kill the Scout with a single flare from the Scorch Shot. The Scout has survived a large explosion as well, which puts Pyro at Small Building Level again with the same output of 0.007 Tons of TNT, article by TheGatememer found here.

: The Pyro even created the following explosion. Whether it was with his own equipment or items he gathered from their battlefield, it’s tough to say, but regardless, the Pyro somehow caused it.

: Gotta give kudos to TheGatememer again, here, as they calced this and found that the explosion had a yield of 0.066 Tons of TNT, also Small Building Level… Yo Valve, how tf did you make Pyro so consistently Small Building Level?

: But that’s not the end of it. The Heavy was able to take out TFClassic Heavy, who was hyped up on Australium that fed directly into his veins. TFClassic Heavy showed the same degree of mental acuity and sudden virility akin to other characters like the Administrator, who had pumped herself with it similarly, which implies that he had gained some of the benefits of Australium without needing prolonged exposure to it.

: Yeah, that’s the same stuff that puts Australians, like Saxton Hale, in near perfect physical condition, which is Above Small Building Level. And The Heavy tanked hits from TFClassic Heavy without exposure to it himself. And, of course, The Pyro was shown to easily dispatch The Heavy in “Meet The Pyro.” Man, I love long scaling chains like this.

: And that’s not even including the Crit Damage Boosts or exposure to Australium through The Pyro’s own Australium weapons, further increasing their AP.

: To be fair, I don’t think he even needs all those bonuses. They’re strong enough to overpower every class, from The Heavy, to the Soldier, Demoman, and even The Scout, somehow punched a near-perfect hole in the Soldier’s chest, and turned a Russian brown bear’s head to mush after viewing it as a Smokey the Bear ripoff.

: Pyro can tank pipe bombs and rockets with ease, putting his durability at Small Building Level as well, and regularly shrugs off bullets. They even survived being stomped on by a Yeti, which was able to inflict damage on Saxton Hale, a feat requiring an Attack Potency of Small Building Level.

: Why is Valve so goddamned internally consistent! This is really bothering me! Are Valve employees secretly VS fans who meticulously do these calculations too? Are we gonna get a TF2 VS event in the future so they had to meticulously do all these calcs in advance? I NEED TO KNOW.

: And thanks to The Medic, Pyro canonically has no soul. That’s right, The Medic is such a mad genius of medicine, he was able to take the Mercs’ souls and now owns them as though he has nine lives. Technically, that leaves Pyro with zero, so I don’t think they can technically die? Is that how that works?

: I dunno. I mean, The Medic had to save The Sniper’s life after he was shot, so it’s not like they can’t die. Maybe they go to purgatory?

: Maybe, maybe. Anyway, Pyro also can react to rockets and grenades as per their compression blast reaction timing, putting their reaction speed at around Subsonic+.

: However, Pyro does not have many speed feats, so, using their in-game movement speed, we can see that The Scout is 33% faster than The Pyro, and Scout can run at a speed of 400HU/s, which are Hammer Units per second, with Hammer Units being the measurement used in the HL2 Engine for map sizes and movement speed.

: Converted, that’s a speed of 7.616m/s, which, through proportions, means Pyro’s max speed is at 5.726m/s, which is Average Human.

: But through the use of the Powerjack or Thermal Thruster, this can be increased to Peak Human.

PHYSIQUE

• Attack Potency
  • Flamethrower can Incinerate a Large Barn in a Very Short Time
  • Many of the Dr. Grordbort Weapons, like the Phlogistinator, Manmelter, and Third Degree, All Have Vaporization Capabilities, Putting them at Energy Outputs of 0.007 Tons of TNT, or Small Building Level
    • Article by Spinosaurus75DinosaurFan – View Here
  • Easily Killed the Scout, who Survived an Explosion that Nearly Killed Him, Making his AP Easily Above 0.007 Tons of TNT, or Small Building Level
    • Article by TheGatememer – View Here
  • Somehow Created and Survived this Explosion, which was Found to have a Yield of 0.066 Tons of TNT, Small Building Level
    • Article by TheGatememer – View Here
  • Overpowered and Killed The Heavy, who was Able to Tank Hits from an Australium-High TFClassic Heavy
    • Likely Puts Heavy’s Durability Somewhere Above Small Building Level Due to Australium’s Effects
    • Gas Passer’s Exploding Cloud Detonates with Enough Force to Instantly Kill a Heavy as Well, Small Building Level
  • AP Can be Increased Through Crit Conditions and the Passive Australium Exposure of the Flamethrower and Axtinguisher
    • Though Australium’s Effects are Felt After what is Assumed to be a 2 Month Period, as per the Australians Losing their Strength After 2 Months Without Australium Exposure, the Mercs should have the Passive Benefits if we’re Putting them at their Best
  • Can Use Compression Blast to Redirect Incoming Attacks with Greater AP and Use them Against the Enemy
• Strength
  • Shown to Easily Overpower Every Class, from Scout, to Soldier, to Demoman, to Heavy
  • Somehow Punched a Perfect Hole in Soldier’s Chest
  • Turned a Russian Brown Bear’s Head into Mush With Ease, Bears Stated to be 5x Stronger than the Average Human
• Speed
  • Can React to Rockets and Grenade Launcher Pipes, Putting Reaction Speed at Subsonic+
  • Movement Speed is 5.726m/s from Comparing to Scout’s Speed, Putting Pyro at Average Human
  • The Powerjack Increases Movement Speed by 15%, and the Thermal Thruster can Move at 10.63m/s, Peak Human
• Durability
  • Can Tank Pipe Bombs and Rockets Exploding in Their Face, Small Building Level
  • Regularly Shrugs off Bullets, from Pistol Fire to Sniper Shells
  • Survived Being Stomped on by a Yeti
    • Which can Draw Blood from Saxton Hale, Putting them Around Small Building Level

: Man, Pyro’s really on fire with all these feats!

: You’ve been punning through the whole prelude Dylania, save some for the fight’s end! Now, you know what comes next. Come on, don’t prolong the inevitable. Say it.

: *Sigh* I know. Even though the Pyro has such a vast arsenal and a very solid physique, he still has his fair share of weaknesses.

: Don’t worry, we’ll find something more unique to say next matchup.

: Okay…

: Obviously the first weakness we should tackle is that “Pyroland” of his. Pyro doesn’t exactly see others as a threat. He’ll either see them as weird cupid baby versions, or they will be cartoonish in appearance, similar to how Pyro saw the Russian brown bears. He sees dangerous fire as color in an otherwise dreary world too, leading him to break social norms and do things like:

: This doesn’t mean much as a weakness though, as the way Pyro’s brain translates threats and victims is all screwy. It’s more of a disposition than a weakness per se. It still is important to mention though.

: Direct or ranged combat is very tricky for the merc due to the short range of their flamethrowers and their only effective ranged weapon being the assortment of flare guns they can use. Pyro would prefer to stick to hit-and-run and ambush tactics to get around this weakness, however.

: And forget about underwater combat. Their flamethrowers don’t function underwater except for the compression blast. There are ways around this, but again, the only effective options require close-ranged combat with melee weapons or shotguns.

: Of course, we should also mention that the asbestos suit Pyro wears does not nullify fire damage done to them. Rather, it only works to prevent them from catching fire. They still feel the extreme heat from flames and explosions, but just don’t catch on fire or can be afflicted with Afterburn.

WEAKNESSES

• Pyroland Gives Pyro a Quirky and Juvenile Utopia to View Instead of the Cruelty They Inflict on Others
  • Not an Exploitable Weakness Per Se, More of a State of Mind
• Without Ammo Pickups, Limited to the Ammo They Start With
• Must Ration Ammo Appropriately, Or Else They can Run Out Very Quickly Due to How Expensive Several Abilities can Be
• Though Suit is Flame-Retardant, it Does Not Nullify Fire/Explosive Damage
• Flamethrowers can’t Spit Flames Underwater
• Afterburn can be Easily Dealt with by Submerging Oneself in Liquid
  • Jarate, Mad Milk, Self-Aware Beauty Marks, Gas Passer Gas, and Water can do the Job well Enough

: Even then, he’s done some incredible things, even compared to other TF2 Mercs. I mean, as a CEO, they made all of their employees millionaires! They befriended a self-aware-beauty-mark-loaf-of-bread-puppy-thing! They wiped out the TFClassic Demoman and Scout as well, singlehandedly!

: They wiped out an entire BLU outpost singlehandedly, found the Administrator’s Control Room before Heavy, and even discovered what happened to Amelia Earhart while hiking through the Russian mountains.

: So… Who’s gonna ask about why Amelia Earhart has a hot dog costume?

: She was a pilot Dylania, it’s obvious why she needed one.

: Mhm… Sure.

“Huddah Huddah Huddah!” – The Pyro

* * *

THE META

: Insane. Primal. Monster. Just a few words one would use to describe The Meta. But, before he was a vile beast of a man, he was Agent Maine.

: Having joined Project Freelancer, a special ops program intended to experiment and study super soldiers equipped with A.I., or Artificial Intelligence, companions, Maine showed excellence in the field, having achieved Rank 7 on their leaderboards. He worked with other Freelancers like Agents Carolina, Washington, York, and so on.

: However, on a mission to retrieve a “sarcophagus,” later revealed to be a perfect A.I., Maine took the most damage out of everyone else.

: I’d say! He was shot by a sniper, took over ten bullets to the throat, and was launched into incoming traffic where a flatbed semi played Ping-Pong with his limp body!

: After recovering–

: He recovered from that!? That’s not the kind of thing you just sleep off! I know the Red vs. Blue universe has some advanced and futuristic medicine, but he didn’t escape unscathed from that, right?

: You’re right actually. Maine survived but the damage had already been done to his throat. Thankfully, the bullets missed his spine, but his esophagus and trachea may as well be absolute mush. From then on, he’s been mute, only ever able to mutter hisses and gurgles for communication.

: Now remember those A.I. buddies we were talking about? Yeah, Project Freelancer experimented on that perfect A.I. their troops acquired and decided they wanted more A.I. to play with. Don’t worry, we’ll get back to Maine in a second, this is important too.

: The Director tortured the A.I. emotionally, causing it to fragment its personality in order to cope with hearing about the deaths of everyone it ever cared about. The Directors captured these fragments, each representing a different piece of the A.I.’s greater sense of self.

: That… Is really fucked up. Gotta love how morally bankrupt the bad guys always are.

: The first few were quite estranged. Delta was a stiff analyst, while Theta was more of a timid but expressive kid-type. Given to Agents York and North Dakota respectively, the third was to go to Agent Carolina, but she opted to skip herself so that the next A.I. could help Maine with communication due to his throat damage.

: Why are they all named after states in the U.S.? Why not name them after Canadian provinces? Imagine: Agent Manitoba, or Agent Québec, or Agent Northwest Territories… Actually I take it back, those low-key sound really lame. You win this time U.S.A….

: Unfortunately for the blank slate that was Maine, he got Sigma, an A.I. that was ambition and creativity incarnate. Intelligent, self-serving, and manipulative, Sigma had a very strong desire to achieve the Meta State, when an A.I. would become perfect and near indistinguishable from human conscience.

: Always the creative ones that are evil, smh.

: Hey, how are things going you two?

: Oh! Uh, hey boss! What are you doing here?

: Uploads have been infrequent, so I gotta make sure you two are doing alright and still worth being employed.

: Wow, that’s… Brutally honest. Yeah, we’re still working well together. We’re covering The Meta right now.

: Ah, yes, I felt inspired with that one with the whole masked madmen angle. You were sure to mention their similarities, right? Something about explaining how similar the characters are always tends to put them in a new perspective for readers.

: Yes, yes, we were sure to mention it.

: Excellent to hear, keep up the good work and don’t go too far off-script. I’m gonna go watch some more Record of Ragnarok. Take care you two. *Leaves*

: Yeesh! Speak of the devil much?

: I can never get a read on that guy. He’s like professionalism and unprofessionalism combined perfectly and given form… Anyway, Sigma wanted to become a perfect A.I. so badly that they manipulated Maine into becoming a raging sociopath, killing the other members of Freelancer for their shards of A.I.

: And Maine was no more. The seething mass of hisses whose thoughts were naught but a cacophony of cries from the A.I. could only be called: The Meta.

BACKGROUND INFO:

• Codename: Agent Maine
• Epithet: The Meta
• Origin: Unknown
• Affiliations: Project Freelancer (Former)
• Occupation: Freelancer (Former)
• Debut: Red vs. Blue: Recovery One (2007)

: In order to take out all of his former allies/coworkers, The Meta came fully decked out in some equipment perfect for killing.

: He wears the M374 Hephaestus Armor, equipped with a recharging energy shield that disperses damage, grants enhanced strength, speed, durability, and jumping ability, recycles air to maintain oxygen levels in low-oxygen environments, as well as in space, and can even provide on-the-fly medical care through its built-in healing unit.

: The staples of his loadout include the M6G Magnum Pistol that carries 8 rounds and has a 50m effective range, and dual M7 Caseless SMGs composed of titanium that come with 60 round magazines and have an extremely high rate of fire, but very low accuracy.

: But the real beaut’ of this loadout is his Type-25 Grenade Launcher, commonly called “The Brute Shot.”

: This grenade launcher fires its ammo with such force that there is almost zero arc or dropoff, and such grenades are deadly, with only about 3 of them being enough to tear through an energy shield.

: And it has a sickass bladed stock! Even if he runs out of ammo, he just has to turn the gun around and bam! It’s like a reverse bayonet, and combined with The Meta’s abilities in martial combat, he uses the blade with deadly precision and deft skill!

: He also carries a slew of grenades and even sticky grenades in the Type-1 Anti-Personnel Grenades. But this all pales in comparison to his utilities known as: Armor Enhancements.

: As part of Project Freelancer, each freelancer was given an armor enhancement to improve their efficacy in the field, almost like an individual superpower. Agent Carolina has Speed Boost, Agent North Carolina had a Domed Energy Shield, Agent Connecticut had Hologram Duplicates, etc.

: But, due to several difficulties, such as not being able to make calculations for the power output of the enhancements, running the enhancements were strenuous, either meaning they couldn’t be run at their full potential, or, if they were run beyond what the Freelancer could handle, death.

: But, thanks to their A.I., the Freelancers could tap into the full potential of their enhancements. For example, North Carolina could use the Domed Energy Shield for an extended period of time, and even perfectly time for it to deactivate and reactivate to let North’s shots pass through while still stopping incoming enemy shots. He later demonstrated its versatility as well, forming two small hard-light shields to conserve power while still performing those earlier functions.

: And then there’s The Meta, who collects these enhancements and A.I. like a billionaire with a fetish for rare sports memorabilia. Carrying 8 A.I. and several armor enhancements, The Meta is well-equipped to handle almost anything.

: The A.I. themselves are able to assist in making analytical predictions and even experience time 205x slower than the average human. They are also needed to run Meta’s enhancements, such as the Domed Energy Shield he lifted off of North and Adaptive Camouflage that allows him to blend with his surroundings or impersonate enemy troops.

: He also has BioScan which keeps him informed of his status, an Enhanced Motion Tracker which gives him visuals of where his enemy is in a 360° radius from him, and an Audio Modifier that he’s adept at using to manipulate his foes, having once used a short clip of Agent Washington and Command to send a fake call from Command to the Red Team.

: He also has an Overshield, which doubles his armor’s energy shield’s durability, but that pales in comparison to his most powerful enhancement: Temporal Distortion. I don’t know how this man can just stop time with his armor, but he can.

: Actually, he doesn’t exactly ‘stop’ time. Rather, he slows it to an absolute crawl, to the point where he experiences time the same way an A.I. does. However, this enhancement is very costly to maintain for a long time.

EQUIPMENT:

• M374 Hephaestus Armor
  • Enhances Strength, Speed, Durability, and Jumping Ability
  • Comes Equipped with Thermal Tracking and an Energy Shield that Disperses Damage
  • Recycles Air to Assist in Low-Oxygen Environments
  • Provides Medical Care to Tend to Wounds Over Time
• M6G Magnum Pistol
  • High-Power Pistol with 8 Rounds per Magazine and an Effective Range of 50m
• Dual M7 Caseless SMGs
  • Made from Titanium, with 60 Rounds per Magazine
  • 900rounds/min Rate of Fire, Low Accuracy, Most Effective at Close to Mid-Range
• Type-25 Grenade Launcher/Brute Shot
  • Stolen from a Vault of Aline Weapons During the “Sarcophagus” Heist
  • 18 Grenades and can Fire them Without an Arc
  • Has a Bladed Stock for Melee Combat
• Grenades
• Type-1 Anti-Personnel Grenades
  • Sticky Plasma Grenades
• A.I. Fragments
  • Artificial Intelligence that Assists in Running Armor Enhancements
  • Provide Analytical Insight
  • Perceive Time 205x Slower than the Average Human
• Armor Enhancements
  • Domed Energy Shield
    • Provides a Large Hard-Light Shield with 360° Coverage
    • Can be Controlled so Precisely as to Not Allow Enemy Gunfire from Entering, While Allowing User Gunfire to Exit, or can Generate Individual Orbiting Shields to Conserve Power
  • Adaptive Camouflage
    • Allows the User to Blend in with their Surroundings to Turn Almost Perfectly Invisible
    • Can Also Change Colors to Masquerade as Another Individual
  • BioScan
    • Provides Information to the User on their Current State
  • Enhanced Motion Tracker
    • Provides Radar like 360° Coverage of Enemies Around the User
  • Audio Modifier
    • Can Take Audio Clips and Perfectly Emulate and Adjust the Voices
  • Overshield
    • Doubles the Durability of the Armor’s Energy Shield
  • Temporal Distortion
    • Slows Time Around the User to a Crawl, Allowing them to Effectively See Events the Same way an A.I. Does
    • Most Taxing Armor Enhancement and Cannot be Used for a Lengthy Period of Time

SKILLS:

• Skilled in Hand-to-Hand and Wrestling
• Expert Marksman
• Talented Driver

: This guy is seriously built like a tank! Not only with the weapons of one, but he’s pretty stacked physically too!

: His arsenal has a pretty incredible power output alone, seeing as his magnum alone, arguably the weakest weapon in his kit, is at City Block Level, with an output of 13.06 Tons of TNT. Math done by Regicide here.

: And just to clarify, though these weapons are originally from the Halo universe, as Red vs. Blue is a Machinima, or video game produced cinema, that uses the Halo games to tell the story, it should be noted that the way they are represented in Red vs. Blue is still fair game. So, if Agent Maine used a magnum to shoot large stone pillars to rubble, then that should still be taken into account.

: And while it is not directly stated how much more powerful Meta’s other weapons are in comparison, we can deduce that with the magnum being the weakest, weapons like his SMGs and grenade launcher outclass it, easily going above 13.06 Tons of TNT.

: But don’t think all his power comes from his peashooters! He was able to huck giant boulders at York and Texas, was able to crush a Warthog with his weight and strength alone, and even rained down giant metal crates and vehicles on Grif.

: He’s fought in close-quarters combat with Agent Washington and overpowered him, easily dispatched characters known for their resilience, like Caboose, and even stopped a speeding Warthog, an effort that would’ve taken Building Level strength!

: And though he seems physically lethargic or slow, that’s far from the truth. He regularly keeps up with other talented Freelancers, like Washington, Wyoming, and Agent York, who are ranked higher than Maine himself, outran and climbed up a crumbling mountain, and dodged out of the way of a crash-landing airship.

: He’s parried a rocket midair and subsequently vaulted off of it, putting his reaction time easily at Subsonic+, and was able to keep up with one of the fastest Freelancers, Agent Texas. And, harkening back to Washington, The Meta has outmatched him on several occasions as well, and Wash was able to outrun explosions and gunfire, putting him around Supersonic speeds.

: It should also be mentioned that The Meta can rely on his A.I. to help in his reaction timing, as they perceive time much slower. He can also rely on the Temporal Distortion for a similar effect as well, incorporating that immense reaction speed buff to his movement as well due to time shenanigans.

: As for durability, I would hazard to say that he has withstood the most out of anyone else in the verse. He’s been beaten to a pulp numerous times by Texas, tanked 4 shotgun blasts point-blank, was stabbed in the chest and kept fighting, and survived uninterrupted minigun fire from Agent Washington for close to 10 seconds! That’s 100 bullet wounds directly to his body!

: He is insanely resilient, able to survive getting shot 11 times in the throat, then, shortly after, got launched off a flatbed semi into another flatbed semi traveling in the opposite direction down the highway. Assuming the truck was moving at the average freeway speed of 135 miles per hour, that results in a collision force of 2.888 or 4.156 Tons of TNT, Large Building Level.

: He can even tank his own Brute Shot blasts, like when a member of the Insurrection with a cyborg arm caught a grenade and threw it back at Meta, which should put his durability somewhere Above City Block Level.

: Seeing that was so cool. Glad they made the jump from video game recordings to animation.

PHYSIQUE:

• Attack Potency
  • Meta’s Magnum Alone can Tear Through Stone Pillars, Putting it at an Output of 13.06 Tons of TNT, City Block Level
    • Article by Regicide – View Here
  • The Rest of Meta’s Equipment, Notably Stronger than the Magnum, Should be Higher, Likely Above City Block Level, or at Least the 13.06 Tons of TNT
• Strength
  • Easily Punched a Large Boulder at York
  • Able to Crush a Warthog with Strength and Weight Alone
  • Throws Other Marines like Sacks of Potatoes
  • Threw Tens of Giant Crates and Vehicles at Grif, Each Weighing Around 3 Metric Tons
  • Overpowered Several Freelancers, like Agents Washington, North Dakota, and Texas
  • Easily Dispatched Characters Known for their Resilience, like Caboose
  • Stopped a Speeding Warthog, Building Level
• Speed
  • Regularly Keeps up with Other Freelancers like York and Wyoming
  • Outran and Even Ran Up a Crumbling Mountain and Glacier
  • Kept Up with One of the Fastest Freelancers, Agent Texas
  • Parried a Rocket Midair and Vaulted Off it, Subsonic+
  • Matched Washington’s Speed, who was Able to Outrun Several Explosions and Bullets in his Career, Supersonic
  • Reaction Time may be Far Greater Due to Assistance from A.I. Fragments
  • Reaction Time can Become Movement Speed Due to Temporal Distortion
• Durability
  • Took a Beating from Agent Texas
  • Survived Direct Machine Gun Fire and Missiles
  • Tanked 4 Point-Blank Shotgun Blasts
  • Stabbed in the Chest by Tucker and Kept Fighting, Barely Phased
  • Stopped a Speeding Warthog in its Tracks, Building Level
  • Shot 11 Times in the Throat, and was Flung Across the Freeway into an Oncoming Flatbed Semi
    • Based on the Weight and Average Freeway Speed Limit, Low and High-Balls for this are 2.888 and 4.156 Tons of TNT Respectively, Both Large Building Level
  • Tanked Direct Minigun Fire for 10 Seconds, where 100 Bullets were Planted in his Body
  • Shrugged Off Explosions from his Own Brute Shot, which is Already Stated to have a Potency Above 13.06 Tons of TNT, City Block Level or Higher

: Yes, The Meta can withstand a lot, but his defenses aren’t perfect. Excessive damage can deactivate his suit’s energy shield and leave him vulnerable, and though he has so many A.I. Fragments, his Armor Enhancements drain his suit’s power with excessive use.

: Yep, overuse can just short-out his equipment and cease its effectiveness. Meanwhile, if his suit is short-circuited by excessive external energy, such as via concentrated plasma, his suit’s enhancements can work against him.

: For example, when The Meta was hit with Doc’s Plasma Pistol, it overcharged his suit and caused some kind of feedback, causing the Temporal Distortion to slow only The Meta and not his surroundings.

: But above all, The Meta may be a strategic genius in collecting his A.I. Fragments, but his efforts are specifically aimed at those A.I. Fragments. If one just shows up and distracts Meta, then he will drop everything and try to get it, ignoring enemies he would have killed seconds ago.

: And if his weapons run out of ammunition, he will run out of methods to fight at a distance, forcing him to use his skills in hand-to-hand combat.

WEAKNESSES:

• Primal, Yet Tactics-Oriented Mindset Due to A.I. Destroying his Mind
• Will Drop Everything to Chase an A.I.
• Armor Enhancements Take a Toll on his Power Supply, which can Render him Unable to Use Enhancements, his Medical Unit, and Energy Shield
• Excess Energy, such as Plasma, can Cause his Armor Enhancements to Backfire
  • For Example, his Temporal Distortion can Slow him to a Crawl Instead of the World
• Runs on Ammo, and Zero Ammo Forces him to Fight in Close Quarters
• Tow Cables and Cliffs

: But these shortcomings mean nothing to The Meta. He was able to collect up to 9 A.I. Fragments, defeated several Freelancers, reached Rank 7 on the Freelancers’ Leaderboard, and has been integral in the success of several Freelancer missions, including the mission to collect the sarcophagus.

: He is arguably the most dangerous and deadly foe in the Red vs. Blue series, survived things no normal person could ever think to survive, and went out in one of the most badass ways possible: Where he forced two warring teams to work together to kill him off, and even then, The Meta still struggled to reign victorious until he was sent plummeting off a cliff.

: The scary survivor, the mutilating meta-mind, The Meta is a terrifying foe indeed.

“*Loud Hisses*” – The Meta